Honesty in Cancer

I am going to warn you now.....if you don't want to hear this....leave now.  I don't want to upset anyone.

I am going through a really bad spell.  See, cancer likes to move around....spread.  Go to places it has no business going.  And my cancer, although, I hate saying mine....is giving me bladder problems.  Have you ever had a bladder infection?  the pressure, the need to go, etc....well, I have that, but there is no infection.  They tell me I have cystitis.  I don't really care what it is....I just want it gone.

I am tired.  Not the kind of tired you can sleep away.  Just worn out.  I hurt.  Sorry, not trying to complain, but it is the truth.  I hurt. 

Have I told my doctors.  Oh yes, back and forth, different doctors, nurses, PAs.....they all are very kind...and yes, I have tried different meds....most of which will NOT stay down.  Nothing seems to be helping.

Of course, it makes me wonder.  Is there something they aren't telling me. 

I am 61.  I look and feel like 81.  In fact, probably a lot of 81 are doing better than me. 

Yes, you are correct, I am depressed....and I have every reason to be.

I love the Lord with all my heart.  And I am ready to go home to be with Him.  But I am not ready to leave my husband and family.  I LOVE LIFE.....I want it back.

I appreciate everyone every where that prays for me.  I ask for you to continue.  You don't need to comment.....there is nothing to be said.  Just pray for me.

Cancer is Awful....and that is HONESTY!